


War

by writer0895



Series: Jily Drabbles and One Shots [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Imported from FF.net, Marauders era, Mild Angst, jily
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 16:47:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14476971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writer0895/pseuds/writer0895
Summary: This was written back in 2015 but I've only recently gotten around to importing stuff from FF.net and brushing off the cobwebs.





	War

He has known war all his life, at least as far back as he can remember. He recollects in fleeting moments and vivid dreams his father coming home past his bedtime, his forehead lined with worry. But he never knows for sure because as long as he can remember, his father has been dead – murdered.

He has seen his mother chuck mails into the fireplace, slam the doors shut to keep the howlers from reaching his room. He accompanied her to St. Mungo's when a cursed envelope touched her hand and he was a kid then, 8 years old and he didn't understand but looking back, it has never been clearer to him.

He is 11 years of age, ready to start his first year at Hogwarts when he first meets Sirius Black and two instantly become firm mates. He looks away as his friend scratches out his last name from the homework submissions. He pretends he doesn't notice the expectation on Sirius' face when Walburga Black sends him a howler regarding the sorting ceremony. Sometimes when the dormitory is filled with snoring of his roommates and he can't sleep, he looks over to his best friend's bed, the four-poster curtains drawn and he thinks he is buddies with a battle scar. He knows that the Black household is a recruitment home for people who want to start a war that no one else wants to participate in.

He is 12 years old when he watches Sirius rescue Peter Pettigrew from the lake when some upperclassmen had pushed him. He watches as fights break out all over the place and quite often he participates. He discovers that Remus Lupin, the shy sick boy in their dormitory is actually a werewolf and even more he is surprised that it doesn't bother as it should. In fact what truly bothers him is that he has to struggle not only with his lycanthropy but also judgments. He wonders often which one is worse but never asks. He stands by his friends as much as he can but in the end, they are not his fights.

He is 13 when he has his first crush and as he glances at her across the table over dinner, he notices that not everyone thinks as highly of her. He isn't naïve, he knows about the blood purity propaganda and Sirius always has enough stories about his family and their opinions but it has never bothered him personally before and in a way, he has never cared. He wants to help her but Sarah is five years older than him and capable of looking after herself. And then in his pursuit of tormenting Snivellus' life, he tells himself that it is, after all, her lookout and not his.

He is in his fifth year and massively is crushing on Lily Evans when things start getting more and more serious. He runs around Hogwarts like he owns the school, asks Evans out as much as he can just to harass the poor girl all the while worrying if his mum will survive the week or will some bastard carry out his threats. Mrs Potter may no longer work at the Daily Prophet but she still has her fair share of the enemies and in the changing tides, when her voice was louder than ever, the metaphorical hands choking her throat were just getting stronger.

It was a battle started by a bunch of powerful bigots, one that no one wanted to participate in but wars aren't waged by a single army and people were starting to retaliate. It was the summer break between his sixth and seventh year when Sarah was murdered, just like his father. Lily was friends with him that summer and when he visited her, as she was pouring some tea for him, he found threats in her mail. And all he could think was how much he loved her and how could he say that this wasn't his battle when he was right smack in the middle of it. He was going to fight damn it, or die trying…just like his father did.

It was a year after he left school and he was jobless, not that he needed one. He would spend his days trying to help anyone who needed it (and there were a lot of them mind you) and he would make anyone who could hear listen to him. It didn't work much and the fact that no one would even consider hiring Lily or Remus only made matters worse. It was a tough phase but Lily helped and loads of cookies. But it was Dumbledore who saw them through in the end, who gave them a purpose and the means to achieve something.

When Lily proposed to him, her wild red hair sticking to her face as they crashed in her apartment after an order mission, all he could think was yes but no, not now, not in the middle of a fucking war. But then all he could think for days was that they were indeed in the middle of a war and he'll be damned if he spends another moment without being married to her.

When Lily was seventh months pregnant he prayed to all the heavens that time would stop then, that the third trimester would never end, that Harry would never be born. Their baby, their little bundle of nerves and half-formed body parts was doomed to die even before he was born. They had signed up for this, they wanted to make a difference but he was just a baby. He didn't even know the worse evils of this world he would be born into. Harry hadn't volunteered to be a soldier; he was forced to sign up. But then again, no one ever really volunteers to witness death and worse execute one.

But when Harry arrived into the world, it wasn't evil. It was whitewashed walls of St. Mungo's, a bouquet of flowers, and friends and family each wanting to hold him, all of them clinging to him, refusing to let him go. And as Harry was finally passed into his mother's arms once again, James couldn't help but think that the three of them, they would face the odds together.

Lily didn't get to enjoy her resting time at St. Mungo's because Dumbledore's instructions made it clear; they were to go into hiding. They wouldn't enjoy it but no one did anything to enjoy it anymore, except perhaps Sirius. Everything was about survival and if Dumbledore believed the prophecy and if Harry really would be the saviour of the wizarding world, Harry was to be kept safe. A child born in the middle of a war would be the one to end it. But even if Dumbledore did has ulterior motives, he wasn't about to argue with the safety of his son.

After a month of confinement, days and the nights started blurring together. Time was stone still, only the clocks seemed to move and Harry progressively grew. One night, James and Lily woke up to a crying Harry and even after they had rocked him back to sleep, his tiny body pressed between theirs, sleep evaded them.

"James, are you afraid?" she asked desperately; she just had to know.

"No," he answered without thinking or hesitating.

She seemed surprised at his reply but didn't doubt him. She never doubted him. She didn't even need any explanation but he offered one anyway.

"I'm terrified of You-know-who, Lily; I would be mad not to. He is a powerful wizard but all of this, all of the bigotry and blood purity propaganda, I am not scared of it. It is going to go away and even if some asshole somewhere thinks you aren't deserving of a wand, you will walk free with your head high anyway. I promise you, Lily."

There was silence but then she smiled and he could feel it across the bed. He closed his eyes eventually dreaming of the world he had just promised Lily. Dreams were sweet that night.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written back in 2015 but I've only recently gotten around to importing stuff from FF.net and brushing off the cobwebs.


End file.
